| Bio-Dome (1996) |
For a while now I've been hearing jokes about Pauly Shore and his acting skills, or rather, his lack of acting skills. As I sat down to watch Bio-Dome I knew the movie probably wouldn't be great, but it at least would have a few laughs, right? Then the 15 minute mark passed, then the 30 minute mark, then the one hour mark...
It dawned on me about a quarter of the way through the movie that it was not going to get better, but I hadn't expected it to go so far in the opposite direction. Not a single "joke" in this movie is funny, not a single character is likable, and not a single wasted second watching it can be regained once lost.
The plot is like something a child might think up, which is pretty fitting as our two main characters have half the intellect of one. Like the title implies most of the story takes place inside a large bio-dome these nitwits have found themselves in. Really this is likely the part most people might think the movie starts to degrade in quality, in reality that point occurs about 5 minutes after the opening credits.
"And then, it gets WORSE." That one sentence easily describes the whole movie in a nutshell. I actually found myself liking the "bad guy" more than either of the idiots who carry this train wreck from start to finish. How does the movie portray men? Go back and reread the beginning of this paragraph.
Do not buy this movie, do not rent it, and most certainly, DO NOT WATCH IT. You would probably lose less brain cells bashing yourself with a blunt object for 90 minutes than if you had to sit through this. My advice if one of your friends asks you to see this movie with them? Get new friends.
I could really go on and on and on, but I've already wasted enough time on this pile of absolute filth already. Do yourself a favour and just forget this movie exists, even thinking about it could send you into a depression. Avoid it like you would acidic lava, because I can assure you, it is much more painful than that could ever be.
- Reviewed by: Midnight Undead
Run time: 88 minutes
Rating: PG 13 (crude humor, language, adult themes)